Pink Posting #1: The Difference Between a Princess and a Queen

     This article is my first "pink post," that is, a post having to do with a woman's issue.  However, as such, it's still a post that can be read by men.  It's not so exclusively feminine that it will send a man out of the room screaming, like a post on the difference between mauve and hot pink curtains and how many lace doilies it takes to fully insulate a plate against chipping in the cabinet.  Nor is it an article about female physical issues, which sometimes can make guys blush.  So, male readers:  you're safe here.  Read on!
     This is an article that I started initially because I was highly displeased with the way certain situations were handled this past week at work.  Anger is either something that destroys you, or something that teaches you, depending on how it's handled.  If it's worked through therapeutically with God, it can become a means by which one can learn about one's own strengths and areas where growth is needed.
      This past week was the first week at a temporary place of work for me.  (The name of the place will remain anonymous for the sake of professional ethics and honour).  I was hired to work with two women in a certain department, one woman who was the head of the department and about ten years younger than me, and one young lady whom I was hired to assist in particular. 
     To make a long story short, my personality did not mesh with that of the young lady in question, nor entirely with the older woman.  Both women are very talented in their field.  However, these two women were not well-empowered to deal with this personality conflict they had with me, because they--like all women--were not comfortable speaking out directly about their issues.  Perhaps they were afraid they would hurt my feelings.  Who knows?  In any case, I was left, in the interim, to try to figure out through my woman's intuition just what was wrong, because it was very evident by Wednesday, my third day on the job, that there was a problem.  They finally addressed one of their concerns on Thursday, that I might not be able to do well in their very secular environment if I talked about religion or wore my prayer beads, which could be construed as a gang emblem in this particular venue (education).  This was a legitimate concern, and I took it in stride. Then on Friday, I opened up the issue of our personality differences so that they could discuss it and we could come to some sort of understanding.  The discussion turned into a situation wherein they were honest about the fact that they really struggled with who I am as a person, as well as my faith.  But the way they put things left a negative impression on me and a bad taste in my mouth.  It was supposed to be a way of freeing them up, but the energy still wasn't right when I left the school that afternoon.
      Their struggle with who I am as a person was nothing I haven't encountered before from other people.  As a person, I'm vibrant, loud, assertive, and have always been different in some way or other than the crowd at large.  I've never really been part of the herd, so to speak.  So, I wasn't surprised that they had some struggles with understanding me at first glance, especially since they aren't very talkative and I am.  I also have the natural tendency to take command of situations, and sometimes that causes problems with certain personality types, especially in other women.  This is particularly true if I meet an alpha woman.  Being an alpha woman myself, I naturally butt heads with other alpha women.  Are there two alpha women in one house?  God help all bystanders!  Everyone had better clear out!
     The part about their problems with my religion kind of mystified me, because really, I strove very much not to reveal to them anything about my religion beyond whatever questions they asked of me.  Orthodox Christianity is by its nature visible and open.  The fact that I wear a Christian headcovering as an Orthodox Christian woman and wife of a Subdeacon is visible to all.   My Orthodox cross or pendant is visible to all who bother to look.  My beaded chotki (ring of prayer beads often mistaken for a Rosary--but they're not) was on my wrist as usual, and often off my wrist as I silently did my daily devotions and contemplative prayers while I worked (which is a custom and expectation of my faith: ceaseless prayer at every moment, even while working, especially while working).  I tried to keep the chotki closed up in my hand as much as possible so that nobody could see, because I knew that I was in a secular environment, and my intuition told me that there might be questions if my chotki became visible to other people.  My inclination towards doing my daily meditations while working was increased by the fact that I really was not given much work to do by these ladies.  I basically sat and observed their work for the first two days.  By Wednesday, I had a paperwork assignment to finish , on which I worked diligently.
      I don't remember what I said to them specifically that made them think I was too religious for their comfort; maybe it was just the way I dressed, or the chotki.  But I do know that I had a rather awkward week with them, especially the younger woman.  Finally, by the time I left the "de-briefing" meeting that the older woman had with us on Friday, I wondered whether I was in a professional environment, or an episode of "Mean Girls."  I understood where they were coming from in their honest answers to my question about how they were adjusting to working with me, but at the same time, I wondered if they might be using the opportunity I had given them, the opportunity to honestly discuss their concerns about people of differing personalities learning to work together, as an opportunity to throw darts at me personally in some way.  Frankly, I also found some of the subtle emotional drama, hints and whatnot that were played out during the week, to be unprofessional.  I'm not there to "fit in" or be popular with people at this workplace, even though social comraderie is certainly more pleasant and preferable in a working environment.  I'm there to do a job, plain and simple.  I'm there to help them in whatever way possible, and then go home at the end of the day.  Period. End of sentence.  Emotions and how people do or don't feel about each other should not be a part of the equation.  Such things muddy the waters in getting work done, and they keep professionals, especially women, from being in command of themselves and their situations.
      Basically, I tried to help them level with their struggles about me, but my effort to help them in this way backfired.   I put myself in a vulnerable position, and then--big surprise--I got pooped on, because opening your emotions to strangers is a sure way to become a living commode.  In the course of trying to meet their needs, I had forgotten about my own need to keep other people's emotions out of my space, not to mention the need to be certain that I dissemble with dignity at all times.  I had not done this at all since I had first arrived at this job.  This was a mistake that will not be repeated.
     I've made some concessions to help them out with their own struggles, mainly not talking as much and making certain that religion doesn't come in up conversation even in the smallest way.  However, I've also decided, from here on out, that my way of relating to them needs to be very business-like with much less emphasis on the social aspect.  This doesn't mean that I plan to be unpleasant or cold towards them.  It just means that I intend to keep things very professional so that no emotions--theirs or mine--can interfere with the effective performance of my job.  I also will not open myself again to criticism of my personality or who I am as a person.  Beyond the two concessions I mentioned, they are simply going to have to learn to work with me as I am.  I am not spending the next seven weeks or so walking on eggs around them and worrying about fitting in, as if I were a bloody adolescent.  I'm forty-four going on forty-five, and there comes a point when a woman must put aside such things, and just be who she is with courage, and without apology.  First Corinthians 13:11:  "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things."
      To that end, I've been reflecting on women and power.  As women, we're socialised (British spelling) from almost Day One of our existence to try to placate and please everyone, to mediate conflicts, and to always be socially popular and successful.   As I've learned certain very wise things from my husband, and as I've grown and reflected over the past year, I'm come to realise that the things we're taught to do and be as women are often not really very beneficial to us as human beings.  We're taught on the one hand to deny and fail to admit our own needs, all for the sake of pleasing others.  On the other hand, we're always expected to "share our feelings" with one another, which is also not a good idea because it makes us vulnerable before each other.   Do men make themselves vulnerable like that, by sharing their emotions?  Heck, no!  If they did, another man would invariably use those "shared feelings" to kick their butts in some way.
     The same is true of women, I'm sorry to say.  If a woman goes into a new environment with new women whom she never has interacted with before, and she lets all of her emotions hang out, she's asking to have her posterior whipped by the others.  This whalloping is not of the physical kind, but of a far worse kind.  It's the subtle, almost unseen world of vicious female emotional manipulation, also known as cattiness, prissiness, female bullying, or the more simple way of putting it, being a flat-out b-- - well, never mind.  You get the picture.
     How does one deal with this sort of behaviour?  Number 1:  Don't open yourself up to it.  That was my mistake when I first went to this job, and I'm not making that mistake again.  Number 2:  If it continues, stop the behaviour by whatever means necessary.  Confront people and call them out on how they're acting.  Shame them.  If they give you the silent treatment, refuse to tolerate it.  Either stop associating with them, confront them verbally about their behaviour, or, if it's a professional situation and the unprofessional behaviour continues over a prolonged period of time, document it on a daily basis and submit a report to the appropriate supervisor.  In other words, kick butt!  Being Christian doesn't mean being a doormat.
     But there's also one thing that works better than all of these things put together:  cease to even care about the whole situation.  Waste no emotional energy on it whatsoever.  People who are so insecure that they can't deal with differences are not worth my time, effort or energy. 
     So, the basic point of this article is that I came away from a negative first encounter with a couple of women I don't even know well enough to care about, as an empowered person with a plan of action, instead of a wuss with whiny, adolescent concerns not worthy of my status as a matron and clergy wife in the Church.
     The next paragraph or so is something I've written as a result of my weekend reflections, and I've shared it with some of my friends. Being a self-respecting Irish-descended Montenegrin baba (female elder), I'll share it on this blog so that someone may benefit from it (or may not--whatever!).
     There are two kinds of women: princesses and queens. Many times, we (women) start life as princesses and then, finally, as we get into our forties or maybe slightly sooner, we make the decision to become queens instead of princesses. Here are the differences between a queen and a princess (and by this statement I don't mean to insult anyone who actually really is, by blood and birth, a princess; rather, I speak of the fairy tale stereotype of a princess):
1. A princess tries to please everyone. A queen does what's best for the kingdom regardless of who may be pleased or displeased.
2. A princess is ruled by her emotions. A queen rules over her emotions, indeed, masters them.
3. A princess has to be rescued from her enemies. A queen gathers an army, marches in and defeats her enemies.
4. A princess takes all kinds of excrement from people while she waits to be rescued by the prince. A queen takes none of that from anyone!
5. A princess's life is on hold until a man comes along. A queen is in control of her life, with or without a man.
6. A princess lets the man solve all her problems. A queen solves problems herself, with the input and counsel of the man, or she and her husband solve the problems together as an equal partnership and team.
7. A princess sings, waits and weeps. A queen creates songs, sings, acts, and rules.
And that's the Iri-negrin Baba wisdom for tonight!

      Good night, all!

                                                                             ---Gabrielle Bronzich, Augusta Domina 

Queen Elizabeth I, one of my inspirations for strong female leadership:

The Effects of Estrogen on Women: What Men Need to Know

     I was originally going to let all references to estrogen and things like that be included in my "pink posts," the posts geared only towards women.  But in this particular instance, I remembered that when we women go through zone-outs, mood swings, and depression because of our hormone levels, the men we know--at home, at work, at church, even at the grocery store--have a lot to put up with, and some may not be quite savvy about what's going on with us.  So, this article is for all you guys out there, whether you're husbands, fathers, brothers, co-workers, parish priests or pastors of non-liturgical churches.  You guys need to know how estrogen levels affect the women you know, love, work with, or spiritually counsel, so that you can discern whether or not the social interactions and emotional patterns you're seeing are regular girl stuff, or off-the-chart reactions brought on by a sudden onslaught of estrogen to the brain.

     That's not to say that all womens' emotional responses are caused by our hormones, monthly cycles and life cycles.  To suggest such a thing would be demeaning to us, because it would invalidate all of our emotional responses as human beings. It is important that when we feel certain ways, our feelings are listened to and acknowledged.  However, at the same time, estrogen is a very powerful hormone (as are all hormones, really), and its power can often make our perceptions and responses very different from the way they would be with normal female estrogen levels.  At certain times of the month or at certain stages in our lives, we women must labour mentally to put our emotions into perspective.  So must others around us, especially men.

     I don't need to explain to my readers what estrogen is.  I'm sure everyone knows.  We're taught in high school what estrogen and testosterone are.  I also don't need to talk as much about low estrogen, as about high estrogen, since it's the higher levels of estrogen that affect women so much in their emotional and psychological perceptions.  Besides, I really don't have any experience with the phenomenon of low estrogen.  I'll talk to you about that when I get to that point in my life, when I approach the hallowed state of elderhood.  Right now, I can rightly be called a matron, but hardly an elder.

     So, guys, I now will state the obvious, which most of you probably already know.  High levels of estrogen occur in women in the following situations and stages of life: the monthly cycle of ovulation and menstruation (age 11 or 13 until menopause), childbirth, the post-childbirth and breastfeeding stage, perimenopause (roughly age 33 or 35 to 45 or 50), and menopause (anywhere between age 45 and 55).   That means that see-saw estrogen levels are pretty much a daily or monthly feature of life, depending on the age and physiology of the woman.  If you haven't ever heard of perimenopause, it's basically a huge hormone shift that women go through in their thirties and forties that prepares them for menopause.  Having gone through it since I turned thirty-four or so, I can tell you that it's absolutely dreadful.  A woman goes from being fairly knowledgeable and in control of how her hormones will fluctuate during the month, to being in a state where she can't predict from one day to the other how she might be emotionally.  It really kind of stinks. 

     To summarise, high estrogen levels can cause the following emotional states, behaviours and physical symptoms in varying degrees with women, depending on the individual:

(1) heightened emotional and social sensitivity, in extreme cases to the point of neurosis:  All women in Western society are taught from Day 1 that excellent social graces are integral to their success, so all women worry to some extent about the impressions they make on others and whether or not people like them.  But if a grown woman is talking about social anxiety in such a way that she sounds like a thirteen-year-old, something's amiss, lads!

(2) getting easily upset or angry: outbursts of temper, weeping, shouting, and all that good stuff! (Worst case scenario: screaming--very rare, usually only occurs if the woman is on birth control or has responded negatively to the estrogen boost that comes from eating foods with soy)

(3) Anger, fear and other emotions seem to come from nowhere, often way out of proportion to the situation that triggered them.   Such emotions can grow even worse if they are not checked or otherwise diffused.

(4) incidents of forgetfulness, lack of focus and seeming ditziness (not to be confused with dizziness):  Maybe the ditzy blond in the classic jokes isn't really ditzy; perhaps she's merely ovulating!

(5) clouding of our reasoning and analytical faculties: the thought process becomes fuzzy--see #4 on this list

(6) physical fatigue, headaches, nervous stomach, cramping, sore muscles especially in the back, swelling of the abdomenal area, weight gain, oily skin, dandruff, occasional thinning of the hair, and zits: lovely, ain't it?   We often get very unhappy with our physical appearance when our estrogen levels are up; we feel fat, ugly, pimply, swollen. . .you name it.  It would help greatly if we weren't socialised to believe that our physical beauty is all-important, but alas, pigs will fly over a frozen hell before that ever ends.

(7) mood swings or depression: sometimes we can appear to exhibit bipolar symptoms, or high estrogen can throw us up onto an emotional high that seems really out there.   The depression caused by hgh estrogen can be dangerous.  Birth control pills can cause levels of depression that can drop to a suicidal level.   If a menstruating or otherwise hormonally affected woman is suddenly deeply depressed out of the blue and starts talking about suicide, don't leave her alone, and hide all of her tweezers, fingernail scissors and other sharp objects.  Stay with her until the poison works its way out of her nervous system.  If you can't stay with her, call a family member to come over and keep an eye on her, while you do whatever it is you must do.

(8) In worst case scenarios, where the estrogen level is off the charts, a woman can become physically violent. When the estrogen has settled down, she often will not remember her violent episode, like throwing dishes in the kitchen or hitting furniture with the broom.  Did she curse and swear at you?  Did she smash her cell phone?  Chances are that she likely won't remember it at all, because this particular level of estrogen can affect her short-term memory.  Don't ask me why, because I haven't studied the science of it.  I just know that it's true because I've seen it happen.

    My husband's advice is: gentlemen, duck and cover!  No, actually, he's just kidding.  But he has found the following safety precautions and steps helpful in aiding a woman who is in an emotionally altered state due to an influx of hormones:

(1) Never tell her, "Oh, it's that time of month, isn't it?" unless you want a vehement and possibly volatile response of "You never validate my emotions!   My feelings aren't real to you!", or unless you want a delicate third finger raised and pointed in your general direction.  Rather, help her to relax.  Give her something she likes to eat or drink, like an egg salad sandwich, a cookie or a nice hot cup of tea.  Sit down with her.  If you're married to her, cuddle with her.  If she's your sister, rub or pat her back.  If she's your parishioner, give her some comforting spiritual counsel and Scripture verses.  She might need some quiet prayer time.  Eastern Orthodox icons, with their great beauty, can be very therapeutic.  Other sacred works of art can help also, as long as she doesn't find them too contrary to her personal taste (in which case she'll probably tell you).  If she's your co-worker, do the whole thing of sitting down and giving her a cup of tea, or tell one of her female buddies at work that she's having a bad day and let them take it from there.

(2)   If she's really emotionally upset, crying or on a rant, try to help her avoid getting behind the wheel of a car.  She needs to calm down and decompress before driving.

(3)  Some women just want to be left the heck alone.  You'll know whether or not she's one of those, and if you don't, she'll probably tell you.

(4)  Use calm but logical arguments to break down misperceptions of reality that she might express due to heightened estrogen (e.g., "I have no friends in this town!" or "Everybody avoids me!":  the trick here is to logically demonstrate the reality of the situation by pointing out who her friends are, or how so-and-so is busy with such-and-such in life and isn't really avoiding her at all).    However, if her statements are about her looks, don't use an analytical approach because that will likely get on her nerves or make her pipin' mad.  Just contradict her negative statements:

WOMAN:  "I'm ugly and fat!"
YOU:  "You're beautiful, and there's nothing wrong with your body shape."
WOMAN:  "I've got zits all over my face!"
YOU:  "I can't tell.  You look just fine to me."
WOMAN:  "I'm all swollen with water weight!"
YOU:  "You don't look that way to me."

    The best words of all, if you're not her pastor, are "I love you."  If you are her pastor, the best words are, "God loves you, and your church community cares about you too."   Talk to her about the Divine, unconditional love of Christ.   If you're Orthodox Christian or Roman Catholic, you might also direct her attention towards the Theotokos and women disciples of the Lord as a source of comfort.

(5) Sometimes, if the woman has a good sense of humour, taking her statements to the absolute ridiculous extreme can cause her to laugh and realise that she's a bit off in her perceptions.  For example, if she says, "Nobody at work likes me!", she might respond well if you say with a wry smile, "Yes, everybody loathes and abominates you so much that they plan to serve you up a dish of worms during the next corporate luncheon, and then they're going to force you to wear pink and orange tye-dye shorts with your purple dress blouse for the whole rest of the day, with red flip flops. And they'll force you to dye your hair bright green!"

    In a pastoral situation, she might say to you, "Jesus doesn't love me!" and then you tell her, "Yep, that's Jesus all right. . .wrathful, condemning, hates everyone. . .never mind that He died on the Cross for you."  You get the general gist.

(6)  To discern whether or not her emotions and sufferings are caused by hormones, look for the suddenness that I mentioned:  emotions and outbursts that seem to come out of nowhere with no visible antecedent.  Also, note whether or not such things seem to occur cyclically.  Priests, if she's crying in Confession every month, she may be a fervent soul with a longing to truly repent. . .or she might be confessing at the same time every month, at a time that just happens to be the height of her monthly cycle.  If the weeping is chronic and seems unwarranted in proportion to what she has confessed to you, then you might discreetly check with her husband, brother, sister, mom, dad or other family member about the nature of her cycles and whether or not she's on any medication such as birth control (which sometimes women end up taking for reasons related to medical conditions) or an anti-depressant.

(7) Watch her diet.  If she has really high estrogen levels like me, then it's possible that foods with estrogen-enhancing substances like soy and emulsifiers might cause mood swings.  If this is the case, she has to avoid food with any of the following:  at least three soy ingredients in the list,  any food with a soy ingredient listed in the front of the list, soy protein concentrates or isolates, PGPR or TBHQ as additives, more than 2% of soy leichtin or soybean oil, most types of vegetable oils and mayonnaise (in which case she'll have to buy oils and mayonnaise made with canola or safflower oil), Italian dressing or any other standard brand names (in which case she'll need to substitute an organic vinaigrette made with olive oil), and most American chocolate products unless she carefully reads the ingredient list first.  She also needs to read the ingredients of hummus and avoid certain brands.  No soy milk or tofu!  Read the ingredients of batter on fried chicken or fish, because batter is often made with soybean oil.  She'll need to substitute teriyaki sauce for soy sauce, because the brewing process of making teriyaki neutralizes the dangerous soy protein.   She can't have margarine either or veggie spread: these all have soy.  She'll have to eat regular, natural butter.  If she's on an Eastern Orthodox vegan fast, then she can eat almond butter.

(8) If she's in perimenopause or menopause, keep empirical documentation of her emotional ups and downs with additional information about diet, life situations that are causing her stress, etc.  However, don't let her know you're journaling this unless you think she's open to it.  The data is there to show you whether or not there are any consistent patterns or triggers for certain reactions and behaviours, and also to help her know which foods to avoid, if she's open to hearing that.

(9) Very important:  she needs to avoid making any major, life-altering decisions when she's in this particular condition.  A friend recently told me about a woman going through menopause who got divorced from her husband during the crazy ups and downs with her emotions.  When she came out of menopause, she recognised how off her perceptions of things were, but now she had to live with the pain and regret of her decision to get a divorce.  Unless the marriage is abusive or the husband has been unfaithful, a woman needs to stick it out until things settle down.   Sudden talk of divorce when the marriage is happy or has always been happy is a sure sign of something not being balanced.

(10) This I learned from experience:  a woman in a hormonal state needs to get off of the internet, or else at least avoid e-mail!  She's liable to send all kinds of crazy letters out, or post things on Facebook that she might regret posting later.  If she gets on the internet while her estrogen levels are high, she needs to just watch Youtube or Netflix, or read interesting articles.

FOR EVERYONE:  How to Handle Estrogen Spikes

     Men, pay attention to this because you need to know this. Ladies, here's what to do if the estrogen spikes:  (1) Immediately take two 1000 mcg-B-12 vitamins and two Omega-3 fish oil tablets, each one 1200 mg.  This restores the function of the synapses in your brain, which have been numbed by the estrogen.  The vitamins will help you start to logically reason through the emotions when they start going awry.  (2) Pray or meditate, immediately.  (3) If things seem to be out of control, talk to someone immediately--a friend, a husband, whoever.  (4) Exercise: go swimming, fitness-walk, or ride a bike.  (5) Turn off the computer unless you're watching movies or reading.  (6) Don't watch intense or depressing films/videos, or read depressing books.  (7) Sleep, if you feel that you can.  (8)  Find something constructive for the kids to do while you take it easy, or call someone to watch the kids while you get away and decompress.  (9)  Don't eat any food or drink anything with soy products in it.  You even have to watch it with pizza!  Check the ingredient list online for restaurant menus before going out to eat.  Usually, Indian food is pretty safe.  Thai food is not.  (10) If you get severely depressed, don't remain alone: find someone you love and tell them what's going on in your head.  (11) Don't take contraceptives unless you have a medical condition where you absolutely can't avoid it.  Contraceptives have estrogen and soy in them.  Antidepressants have soy.  Avoid medication like this, if possible.  If you can't avoid them, do some research to find medicines that will produce a less volatile effect with you.  (12) Don't drive, if you can avoid it.

     That's about all I have to say on this subject, and I hope it helps any male followers of my blog.  As for my fellow sisters, some of you might recognise symptoms or problems I've mentioned.  I speak about these things with a certain amount of sardonic wit, but I'm dead serious about the need for us and the men around us to pay heed to these things.  Also, in some of the extreme situations I mentioned, I'm not joking or exaggerating.  Estrogen levels really can get that high, and they really can cause behaviour that extreme.  I'm a witness of it.

     Cheerio until the next post!  The portrait attached to this article is of Mary, Queen of Scots.  From reading about her life, she seems like a classic example of a woman who made bad decisions during key hormonal shifts.

    

Introduction: About This Blog and Why I Started It

     The word metanoia (Greek) has several meanings.   It is often translated as "repentance" in English, but the literal translation goes deeper than that.In terms of Orthodox Christian spirituality, it means the changing of the mind and heart as one is slowly converted within through the continuous cooperation with Divine Grace. 
     In the field of rhetoric, metanoia refers to a type of correction one uses in statements, in which a statement is first retracted and then re-stated with a different emphasis or in a better way.
     In the field of psychology, metanoia refers to a process of psychological healing after going through a type of break-down.  In some areas of psychological thought, it is referred to as the process of getting rid of a false self and presenting a true one.
     All of these are interesting definitions.  The one constant in these definitions is the idea of change on an inner level.  So, this begs the question: why would I use such a personal word as a blog title?
     The simple answer is that all of life, for the Christian, is a process of inner change as we go through our thuras (Irish word for "journey").  I have often used the word thuras in the past to refer to life's journey, which is spiritual, intellectual and physical.
     Simply put, this blog is for the purpose of sharing musings or reflections upon aspects of that journey as the natural change of the spirit takes place.  Some aspects are spiritual, and others are mundane.  Most of the time in life, the spiritual and the mundane are blended, often in ways we can't always recognise immediately.  I like to find and share those little ways in which the spiritual manifests itself in ordinary, daily life on earth. 
     Change also takes place all the time in artistic, creative people as we grow.  Being an artist--a musician, poet, composer and writer of various genres--I have the desire to share my art with others.  In fact, I have the need to share the art with others and thereby give them certain tools and things to think about as they go through their own metanoia on their own journeys.  That's just the way it is: it's the role of the artist.
     That being said, I will now become apophatic.  That is, I will define what this blog is about by telling you what it's not.
     This blog is NOT the following:

(1) an airing of dirty laundry: one of the skills I'm working on is the ability to understand and recognise, as an artist, what needs to be personal and what needs to be shared.  I have resolved not to let this blog become a whiny session on personal problems, or an airing of deep things in my soul that should really be shared only with a father confessor or my husband.  So, the articles here are meant to be reflective, and sharing things insofar as they relate to the point or subject of the essay, or the subject of the question raised.  Sometimes my posts might be questions, just to see what other people think about a given idea or phenomenon.

(2) political:  I pray constantly for the world and its ills, for our government and its leadership, and many other world problems.  I vote at elections and cast my vote in a way that is aligned with my conscience.  However, that vote is also private.  Aside from talking about concepts of sacred Orthodox monarchy and stuff like that, you will find that this blog is not about politics.  I'm not going to write articles about the government, the president, Republicans, Democrats and stuff like that.  To be very frank, I consider such things to be boring.  I personally think that what I do politically ultimately affects political processes and happenings very little, or not at all.  I have observed that there is a natural cycle that human history goes through as people repeat past mistakes, or actually learn from mistakes and do better the second or hundredth time around.  There have been the same things going on politically for the past 5000 years or so.  I look at things in the modern world and say, "Oh, that's just like Rome in the year 64 A.D.  Oh, well. Ho-hum.  I hope it turns out better this time around.  Lord, have mercy."   So, you generally won't find political posts on my blog.  I might post one very rarely, if a major bee gets in my bonnet, but overall, I strive to keep bees out of my bonnet, and go along on my journey as simply and calmly as possible.  Other people can keep their bees.  I'll just eat the honey.

(3) all one thing or another:  Some posts might be about faith or Orthodoxy.  Some posts might be about music.  Other posts might be about poems or books.  Some posts will be unabashed girl talk, and when a post is to be a girly post, I'll warn the male subscribers to my blog who might not want to read girl talk.  I'll refer to the post as "girl talk" or "pink ponderings."   That way, if guys who read my blog don't want to read about estrogen levels, female vitamin deficiencies or home decor, they can simply skip reading the article.  Some posts might be poems or short stories I've written or am writing.  Being an artist, I'll display lots of different works.
  
     So, I hope you enjoy this blog.  I invite you to come on this artistic/spiritual/esoteric/whatever adventure with me.  Cheerio until the next post!